I don't even know what to name this lol

Squarehead · Rookie Age: 17 Joined: 06 Oct 2008 Posts: 1

WARNING - EXTREMELY LONG STORY

Ok so this is a really weirdsequence of events I just thought I had to get off my chest, even if that be anonymously and just see what people have to say. All the names and places have been changed but all the dates are true.

In the summer of 2006 I moved to Montanna and about half way through the year I met a guy named Dan, which is my name too and we became best friends. We were both 16, he was a few days older than me actually but I was a whole year ahead of him, being a junior as he was a senior.

A few months after meeting him I met his sister at his house, Leila. She was 14 as I was 16. I didn't care for her much and was kind of a jerk at the beginning, but got nicer as I grew to know her and by the end of the summer of 2007 she really liked me and everyone could tell. The thing was, she was my best friend's sister and I really didn't want anything to happen for fear of what might happen when we broke up. I tried my hardest to make it seem like I would never go for her, but I couldn't stop showing her how I really felt through my body language.

In late September, Leila and I started going out. I really liked her, actually she was my first real girlfriend. I had had 2 girls before but neither stayed longer than it took to find out how inexperienced and scared I was. I spent so much time with her, after every school day I'd go to her place with her and we'd spend all the time we could together. I told her I loved her after only three weeks, but she was my first girlfriend, what do you expect lol.

In mid november, Leila and I broke up. We had gone to a folk fair together and I had gotten mad at her about something little and it just made the whole night awkward. The next day I picked her up to go to a soccer game and it was still awkward, i knew it was coming. That night she told me it wasn't going to work and I was heartbroken.

I tried countless times to get Leila back but she would never go for it. I gave her a Valentine and she seemed so happy. When I asked her if she would try going out with me again she said no. Everyone could tell she still liked me, and so could I. I am not the best at reading people, but it is extremely obvious and I am sure of it.

I was in misery for 5 months, I really loved her, or atleast as much as I knew of love. 5 months after the break up, I still hadn't even seen another girl, until I asked my good friend Courtney to spend the night. We were really good friend, and I really meant for it to be just a friendly spend the night. We would always go out to dinner together, to waterparks, and she would ask me to put my arm around her during movies. I guess she filled the gap for me after the break up so that I wouldn't go insane because I felt that atleast one girl still found me tolerable. She now tells me she had always liked me, but at the time we both said we didn't like eachother, and I never really liked her before that night, the night I asked her to spend with me.

She did spend the night with me, and you can guess what happened. I lost my virginity to her, which wouldn't be so odd, except that she was Leila's best friend. We kept our relationship a secret for about a month, then it became an unspoken truth. Leila told Courtney she didn't want to be friends any more, and they no longer talk.

I have been going out with Courtney now for 6 months, and what took me 3 weeks to say to Leila still hasn't come out to Courtney. I can't bring myself to tell her I love her. I am still best friends with Dan so I see Leila every now and then. Every time I see her I am just overcome by her.

By analysing her from an outsider's point of view she's just an average girl with kinda big boobs, but every time I see her she is the most gorgeous thing in the universe to me. I can't take my eyes off her, and I can see it that she still likes me, I can see it I know it, it's not just wishful thinking.

I am really happy with Courtney and we have a great time. The sex is amazing, and Leila would never even let me take off her shirt.

I know Leila will never take me back, why? I have no idea, but I have tried so many times. I still just can't shake my crush on her, I have tried as hard to forget her as I have to ger her back.

I don't want to break up with Courtney, I just want to know what you guys think of my awkward state of mind, if any of you have ever been there, and what helped you through.

Thanks

alx · Posted: Tue Oct 07, 2008 4:09 pm Post subject:

... you expect people to read all that?

Gabriella · Regular Age: 17 Joined: 10 Nov 2008 Posts: 97

Holy shit.

I'm to lazy to read all of that.

I'm sorry, truly I am.

kaylar28 · Member Age: 16 Joined: 24 Aug 2007 Posts: 13