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trackrunner45
Member
Age: 17
Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 10
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 Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:26 pm Post subject: Untitled Poem -please reply! |
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I'm paralyzed, stung by poison
I become left behind as the world travels on
I'm disconnected, alone day by day
I become forgotten just as memories fade away
I'm dead, released from the pull of gravity and floating towards the light
I become warm as God holds me in his arms tight
I'm fulfilled, completely whole; it's hard to define
I become an angel, a pure being of some kind. |
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fallen_angel
Regular
Age: 19
Joined: 19 May 2006
Posts: 83
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| Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 2:54 pm Post subject: |
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Not bad.. though i would have made some small changes..
Paralyzed, stung by poison
Left behind as the world travels on
Disconnected, alone day by day
I become forgotten just as memories fade away
Dead, released from the pull of gravity
And floating towards the light
I become warm as God holds me in his arms tight
Fulfilled, completely whole; it's hard to define
I become an angel, a pure being of some kind.
Thanks for sharing.. |
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