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Untitled Poem -please reply!

 
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trackrunner45
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Member



Age: 17
Joined: 09 Jul 2007
Posts: 10

PostPosted: Wed Jul 11, 2007 4:26 pm    Post subject: Untitled Poem -please reply! Reply with quote

I'm paralyzed, stung by poison
I become left behind as the world travels on
I'm disconnected, alone day by day
I become forgotten just as memories fade away
I'm dead, released from the pull of gravity and floating towards the light
I become warm as God holds me in his arms tight
I'm fulfilled, completely whole; it's hard to define
I become an angel, a pure being of some kind.
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fallen_angel
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Age: 19
Joined: 19 May 2006
Posts: 83

PostPosted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 2:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not bad..Smile though i would have made some small changes..

Paralyzed, stung by poison
Left behind as the world travels on
Disconnected, alone day by day
I become forgotten just as memories fade away
Dead, released from the pull of gravity
And floating towards the light
I become warm as God holds me in his arms tight
Fulfilled, completely whole; it's hard to define
I become an angel, a pure being of some kind.

Thanks for sharing..
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