my mother...

perfectly._.imperfect · Member Age: 18 Joined: 21 Jun 2006 Posts: 20 Location: USA

I feel like a horrible daughter for saying this, and even feeling this way. My mother is an overweight woman. She is about 5'6 and weighs approximately 230. Ok, I can handle that..sure I wish she wasn't because it's not good for her health and all. But she chooses to be that way.

However, she always complains about her weight, saying how she's going on a diet, and has spent soo much money on weight watchers, atkins, and a multitude of other dieting methods. But she won't stay on them. And then I get to hear about how much money she's spent and how fat she still is after it all, and while she is griping, she is digging into a bag of chips or cookies.

She gets migraines, which are believed to partially stem from lack of exercise, and she got one today. She was vomiting and all that, and as soon as she finished, she ate a sandwich and half a bag of ruffles. I asked her about it, and she came up with some kind of excuse that after she pukes, it makes her feel better.

And it angers me beyond belief, but I don't want to say anything and hurt her feelings, because I know it is a depressive issue for her, so I retain it. But it's gotten to the point, ok so it has been at this point for awhile, that just watching her eat makes me want to go purge. I can't help it. I feel soo guilty, and my little sister feels the same way. Just the thought of food repulses me after seeing her, and sadly, there are feelings of resentment because of all of this.

It's not because she's fat. It's because she obsesses over it and complains, but won't do a thing. And it makes me and my sister upset, and I'm afraid it has greatly influenced the way I view eating, and even my own body image. I obsess over the reflection in the mirror worse than ever after hearing her complain, or being around while she is binging (which is often), and I know I'm not fat, or even close.

What can I do? I'm tired of feeling guilty about it, and I don't want to sound selfish and mean, though I'm afraid it could be percieved as that. But her binging and complaining is not just affecting my sister and I, but her relationships with us, her health, and her marriage as well. I've tried getting her to exercise with me, and when I'm in charge of meals, I cook healthy dishes, and if she's lost a few pounds I tell her how great she looks. But it doesn't make a difference. What can I do? I don't want to have to leave the room everytime she eats or gripes...

krzykool182 · Regular Age: 16 Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 135

can't u try something else?like go for a walk with her or something?...or maybe if that doesn't work u should just go and tell her...because it is ruining your family...try helping her again and if that doesn't work just talk to her about it and how it makes you and your sister feel.

live.laugh.love · Posted: Fri Jun 01, 2007 5:07 am Post subject:

What it sounds like is that her low self esteem is reflecting on her kids, which isnt good. Maybe you should tell her she needs help, or talk to a trusted adult about this issue. Many teens develop an eating disorder because of the negative comments their mothers say.. & hopefully you aren't one of them. Try talking to someone, or maybe leaving when shes griping

kimbeefriedchicken · Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 5:51 am Post subject:

just tell her that you're concerned about her. tell her the cold, hard truth, and that it's starting to affect the way you think of yourself, too. sometimes, the truth is the best tihng.

XD-bear · Posted: Mon Jul 16, 2007 11:33 pm Post subject:

you seriously need to tell her how this is affecting you.
its not right of her to do this.
if its affecting you and your sister then she really needs to do something.
try to talk to her about it when you feel the time is right.

Tamonten · Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 9:45 am Post subject:

I can't be arsed to read all of the OP (I need a piss) but after reading the first 2 sentences I shall contribute to the thread by saying:

Yo' momma is fat.
Make her lose weight.