How Does It Feel? PLEASE read and comment

Hopper17041993 · Regular Age: 45 Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 78

How does it feel to be socially humiliated SO loud?
How does it feel to be an outcast?
How does it feel to be alone in a crowd?
How does it feel to prey that you'll be last?

How does it feel to be an insomniac?
How does it feel to be the freak?
Why do you feel safer when you're at the back?
Where are the complicated answers you seek?

How does it feel to always fight yourself?
What is the cure for your everworking mind?
Why aren't you classed as another book on the shelf?
What makes you so important? You try NOT to be kind!

He used; hurt and bruised you,
He lied and deceived you but you still can't hate him,
He was you're first love unfortunately too,
He stopped you self-harming and then abandoned you!

PLEASE comment...
P.S: This a recent one that came into my head while I was on the bus:

Open your eyes,
Tell me no lies,
Show me something more,
Make it a surprise.

I wrote this one when I was 12

He is the knife that slits my throat,
He is my last breath,
He is my destruction,
He is my death...

krzykool182 · Regular Age: 16 Joined: 21 Apr 2007 Posts: 135

i REALLY like the one you wrote when you were twelve...but, all of them were good.

alx · Wanker Age: 16 Joined: 05 Nov 2006 Posts: 3301

Top ones good.

Hopper17041993 · Regular Age: 45 Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 78

Thanks krzykool182 and alx.
People, please comment!
I want to improve my poetry not sound like a manic depressive for the rest of my life, although saying that my poetry has always been quite dark and sinister - my artwork too.
hmm, anyone else see a pattern developing?

Talisa · Member Age: 19 Joined: 24 Sep 2006 Posts: 18

LOVVE IT!! esp the "open your eyes" one...

Docta Mike · Posted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 7:50 am Post subject:

there all great:D but i wish u had titles for each individual poem

Hopper17041993 · Regular Age: 45 Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 78

okay okya I'll work on titles and thanks

fallen_angel · Regular Age: 19 Joined: 19 May 2006 Posts: 83

They are all great poems.. Few of us can really pour our heart and mind into words.. Our journey's not tied to a single path and mere boulders will never stop us from reaching our goals..;p cheers.. Thanks for sharing and please,never ever stop writing..

Hopper17041993 · Regular Age: 45 Joined: 17 Mar 2007 Posts: 78

Wow, I thought poeple would I assume I was just being melodramatic over something mediocre to their problems and not give it any more thought. Thanks for the comment fallen_angel

RUKIA · Posted: Fri Jul 25, 2008 4:46 pm Post subject:

its so nice and so sad
you keep going because its realy good

georgia girl · Posted: Mon Aug 04, 2008 6:52 pm Post subject:

Hm they are very interesting. I agree with Fallen_Angel. There is one thing I would like to give you advice on...... Try not to keep useing questions over and over. It may seem like a good stratagie but at the same time it might just confuse you and other people on the subject of your poem.

aimebaby · Member Age: 15 Joined: 08 Nov 2008 Posts: 30

really great actually. i've tried writing poems on the same subject, but they all came out melodramatic and self-indulgent.
But yours show your feelings and the realism of that. and thats tough to grasp Very Happy