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| Total Votes : 9 |
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| Author |
Message |
rian222
Leaving for boot camp in 1 month.
Age: 19
Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 81
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 Posted: Wed Jul 05, 2006 6:15 am Post subject: Very special letter. |
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I plan to go into the Army soon, so I wrote a last, final note to someone very dear to me which should be given upon my death. Criticism is welcome and encouraged. If there are any spelling errors or puntuation mistakes, please let me know. Also, let me know if you would feel touched, offended, guilty, or anything like that if you were given this letter.
| Code: | Dear _______,
Okay, first of all I hope that this letter won’t hurt you or make you feel guilty in any way. If you’re reading this, I am probably dead. I just wanted to make sure you knew some things that I just couldn’t say to you while I live. It is my dying wish that you have a VERY happy life and don’t take offence from this letter.
First of all, you are the ONLY person in the world who I have really ever cared about. And I am not talking physical attraction here, even though you are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on, I am talking about inner beauty. I understand that you weren’t into me and I respect that. But my whole life I have thought about you EVERY SINGLE DAY and I wake up hoping that I might get to see you today. Even before I knew you, imagined what love would be like, and I felt the same way then as a did when I got to know you. The thing that I feel best about when I leave this earth is that I got to know you. If you have a boyfriend/fiancée/husband, then I will take this moment to let you know that he is BY FAR the luckiest man ever conceived. I sincerely hope that you will have a very happy life with your lucky man, even if you haven’t met him yet.
This part may make you feel bad and I don’t want you to take this the wrong way, instead take it as a major compliment. The reason I joined the Army, was because of you. The Army is supposed to discipline you and make you into a better person. Since you told me you didn’t like me, I thought of how I could make myself a better person. I have been trying really hard to do extraordinary things. One of which is the trumpet. I have dedicated my life to being good at music and recently, I became so inspired by you, I learned how to breathe in my nose and out my mouth at the same time. I plan to set a world record on how long I can hold a note on the trumpet. Next year, I have a chance to set that record. Also, I tried various diets and exercises to make myself better physically and I have tried to discipline myself into learning all sorts of different languages, sciences, etc. But, I do not of the resources or time to do everything. Which brings me back to the reason I joined the army: To make myself a better person. Please don’t feel guilty and think that I died because of you. Instead, think of how far I was willing to go to impress you; death.
And, for the final time, I wish you a happy life. If you wish, please feel free to save this letter, show it to other people, or throw it away. Just please don’t feel offended or guilty.
July 4, 2006
Best of Wishes, ________
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Last edited by rian222 on Thu Jul 06, 2006 10:35 pm; edited 1 time in total |
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greenmonkey
Member
Age: 16
Joined: 03 Jul 2006
Posts: 10
Location: Texas
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:27 am Post subject: |
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omg i was so touched i started crying and since you are joining the army i thank you in advance for contributing to this country i appreciate all that you do and all that you will do
thanx |
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rian222
Leaving for boot camp in 1 month.
Age: 19
Joined: 30 Jun 2006
Posts: 81
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 7:51 am Post subject: |
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| TY, i dont know why i wrote this now, i still have a while. I just wanted to have all my bases covered justs in case. |
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LAtina
Accomplished
Age: 16
Joined: 28 Mar 2006
Posts: 202
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| Posted: Thu Jul 06, 2006 4:05 pm Post subject: |
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omg nooo!!!
or..i dunno..
1st of all im sad!!
dont go!!!!
2nd of all she was blind 2 not lik u!
n 3rd of all cna i have ur #??
lol j/k bu ya...
good job! |
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UNKNOW
Guest
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| Posted: Fri Jul 07, 2006 3:55 pm Post subject: |
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Wow this is a very tough situation your in, god bless you in life..and your future plans, I think that girl was just to blind to see the greatest thing in the world was her prince charming under her nose, Your a great guy i wish there were more guys in the world like you..Try and keep safe...and thank you for contributing your time and putting your life on the line for this country your greatley appreciated!  |
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handwriter
Guest
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| Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 10:56 pm Post subject: |
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well that is a very throw guilt letter, but I really enjoy it, the second paragraph is really good.
just one opinion, the letter is a little generic, every one can simply change the “___________” with every invented name. make it personal.
if you want to show someone how special she is you have to write about something you’ve been through together. just a little episode, those are the most significant ones. something like: “that day in the beach when you look at me and said…”, or “when you hold me that way and I feel our heart beat as one”
this way she, unconsciously, will fell really special |
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georgia girl
xXx Bite me..... I DARE you!!! xXx
Age: 18
Joined: 16 May 2006
Posts: 200
Location: Mammoth Cave, Ky
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| Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 4:39 pm Post subject: |
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| touching, thats all i can say. |
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fallen_angel
Regular
Age: 19
Joined: 19 May 2006
Posts: 83
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| Posted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:43 pm Post subject: |
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| yea..its actually really touching.. but i agree with handwriter.. u should mention a personal experience or something which she can relate to.. good luck.. may whatever deity you believe in be with you along the way.. |
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pepperjacksweetz
Rookie
Age: 16
Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 8
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| Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:29 am Post subject: |
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| it's really good and sincere and honestly if i got that, i would cry. here are some things though you might wanna check out. Line 4 you need to make it past tense. While I lived or when I was alive. Line 10, I dunno it just sounds like an 'I' is missing before imagined what love would be like. Maybe it's just me. Line 15 no comma needed after army. Line 25 you need like a 'have' instead of the 'of' after But, I do not... and that's all. i hope i didn't sound like a grammar b#$%^@ or something. honestly, i felt guilty reading it. that is SO SAD. i wish you luck with your love and that hopefully you don't die. |
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bearwithme
Scorpios Obsession
Age: 20
Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 11
Location: Chicago
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| Posted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 3:13 am Post subject: |
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| Wow... That was... Wow. That was really heartfelt. I would not feel guilty or anything after having read that though. I was feel sadness at your lost but only because there seems to have been some love between us before. But nonetheless... Wow. For the person your'e gonna send that to, i hope she understands. |
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BriBri123
Rookie
Age: 15
Joined: 21 Jun 2007
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 3:00 am Post subject: |
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| wow, that was really touching. How could she not see that her real prince charming was right in front of her. That was a really great letter. good luck and try and be safe. I thank you so much for putting forth your time to serve our country!! Good luck and be safe! |
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alx
Wanker
Age: 16
Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 3301
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